Non-fiction 1.10

As previously discussed, erotic experience is the artfulness developed through mastery of self. The necessary ground is created through specific terminology. Yet, one question wasn’t answered. Why do even need spirituality, spirit economics and erotic experience?

Through history mankind struggled to comprise with metaphysical structure of mind itself. Even though man tried to build stronghold within various dimensions of being, man failed to build a solid ground for both his thought and action. The reason for this is very simple. Each of these dimensions of being are the external reflections of man’s being, yet they don’t represent what man truly is. Man’s being has to be reflection of what man truly is, and what he rarely becomes. Man is rarely himself. If this is the state of man, what can he do, and why should he do it? Why should man seek his being?

Man should seek his being now more than ever. Man lost all faith in external reflections of being. For him, there are rarely Gods potent enough to stop him in his actions. There are no institutions and ideologies he can lean on in order to make a better judgement. We are on the threshold of new century and we, as always, need to turn to something. I believe the time has come for man to turn to his being. Mankind almost forgot its being.

If we are almost deaf to its voice, how can man remember his being? What if he can’t remember? What if listening and gazing aren’t enough? What if we to do something to remember our being?

I find that history of thought has been too theoretical. Man doesn’t live in theoretical world, he can’t afford  such luxury. However, he’s slave to this luxury. Contemporary man is trapped in his thought, and this entrapment happened due to inactivity of thinking. This may sound absurd, but it isn’t. The thought of contemporary man is frozen with acceptance of preset values which resemble thought, but aren’t. Thought is alive through thinking. Contemporary man isn’t thinking. But even if he thought, what would truly change? Would anything change? The term “change” is of grand importance.

When I write change, I don’t mean change in colloquial notion of the term. I don’t mean change as loss of weight, abstinence from drugs, as in death of vices. Change is more than that. It has to be more than that. When I write change, I mean change of being. To truly change you have to chant from the other side of the Moon. You have to let your being change. Change isn’t transformation exactly, it’s more than that. Change is the moment you blossom. You don’t leave anything behind, you let your death grow into new life. With that acceptance, change occurs. Again, we have to pose a question. Why should anyone change?

This is the most important question of the series. Why change? Why should anyone fall prey to an enormous task as change?

It’s not simple to answer such question. Yet why live? Why work? Why have sex? Why have a partner? Why start a business? Why even exist? Because, you have to. The problem was never within activities and world. The problem was with perspective. Man can choose to live or die. If he chooses to cease existing, that’s his choice. If he chooses to live, than why not live in a fulfilling, happy and developed life? Why not? Out of laziness? Lack of duty?

Even if we sought to pose an answer to this question, we would probably fall into the slums of thought. Slums where thought itself exists in images hard to perceive to those without necessary experience in daydreaming. Let’s leave such answers to dissolve in institutionalized madness of everyday life. Why seek change through spirituality? Because spirituality is the way to access your being. You can always seek external stimuli, but true change comes from within.

Contemporary man should seek spirituality to escape from bottomless pit that is mundane understanding of self. In Introduction to spirituality I wrote that expertise is what’s wrong with today’s notion of knowledge. You don’t get to know something just by understanding its principles or structure. You get to know it through mastery. Spirituality is the mastery of self. Master your self and your being will change. With that in mind, mastery isn’t enough. I believe in discipline. I don’t believe in discipline with main purpose of silencing our needs completely. But needs, should also be redefined. We need to enjoy ourselves, to enjoy who we truly are. That’s erotic.

What is enjoyment if not full, unrestrained acceptance of things we deeply seek? I find greatness in such enjoyment. I don’t need much, because my main concern is to let my being grow and blossom, while getting in tune with the world. I don’t want to be different in that sense that I’m blinded by it. I want to be accepted, to merge my being with being of the world. I don’t want to fight anymore, at least, not in that manner.

Before I became Michael of Moon, I was Beast. Before that, my name was King of Bones, but that ancient history is to be recorded through pen of another author. I was the Beast. I was wrathful, violent, angry and destructive. Nothing could stop me from bringing devastation in all possible dimensions of term. A voice of flower, the gentle dew of spring-birth visited me one day. I, as Beast became spiritual. I found my values and yet was still lacking. I couldn’t accept myself. When I looked back on my past actions, I was undone. Nothing I could do would ever suffice to pay the price of such thought and behavior. This is where I was wrong. I could do something. I did something.

First of all, I promised myself that I won’t be the Beast anymore. No matter how angry I’m, I really am not. Anger is there, but it is I who choose to show it. I don’t want to. I picked my values through spirit economics to ensure I’m going to stop myself from expressing anger. Still, I lacked something. Even when I disciplined myself I wasn’t happy. For long, I sought to find external source of happiness. But what makes a man truly happy?

I find the answer to be pure enjoyment in activities through which I became spiritual. For me, that activity is writing. What I wanted to find in my writing, to achieve, was artfulness. Artfulness is what goes beyond the work itself, it’s what make the work holy. Am I an artist? Probably not, at least not yet. But is my writing artful? It is, because I made it so. Because every time I sit to write I try to find a way to explore my writing more than I did last time. This is erotic. This is healing.

Contemporary man is in difficult position. He is bombarded by external stimuli over and over again. Man lost his center. Spirituality, spirit economics and erotic experience are way for man to regain his being. These are what man should seek to become truly happy. Man is a veteran convict of his struggle. The moment is at hand. We should enjoy our being, learn to remember who we truly are.

For there is no such being as man. Man is a Moonborn, only being capable to learn Chants from the other side of the Moon.


Michael of Moon

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