Autumn walk

Autumn walk to my dealer is lonely experience. Meeting him is a routine though. It’s dressed in business-friendly relationship and good intentions. On the way to his apartment I meet a couple. For the first time in a while, I’m glad that I’m single.

I glance at them and move along. I have no interest in their conversation. Lately, relationships don’t seem to interest me one bit. I accept the responsobility for this. Maybe I expected too much from relationships. Luckily, human beings need each other. It is possible that I’ll return to the whirpool soon enough.

Conversation with the dealer is brief, clear and concise. The aftermath of conversation is what makes the whole trip uncomfortable. In my country marijuana is not legalized yet, and I’ll have trouble with police if I get caught. My strategy allows me to keep my cool. It consists of looking normal and acting like you carry no drugs. Gustavo Fring: Student edition. On the way home I meet the couple again. They are just standing there and talking.

I don’t have any issues with relationships. Probably, I would the happiest guy alive if there was someone to love me. Truly. Someone to share loyalty and love beyond time. Unfortunately, I took enough prescription pills with my first love that I know better. Love reminds me of street lights. It’s hard to witness the glory of it, when it rains constantly.

I walk vey slowly. Somewhat quiter than the passage of deep time. Soon, I’ll be home, getting lit and letting the silence to engulf me. To take me away. I hear voices behind me. The girl is a swift thunder as she revolts against her man. The man is after her. He screams, but still tries to get a hold of her. It is nausetaing to witness. Even more so, when a certain fact is considered. It will mean nothing. The argument whatever it was about. Soon enough they will lick each other’s filth-stained wounds. Only because it is easier that way. That way they can excuse themselves from resolving issues that will later dissolve their relationship.

My apartment is comfy enough for one person. The ritual of Facebook feed-checking is complete and I can finally roll something. My lungs are filled with smoke, confiding me to a ascending calm that everything is as it should be. I made it home. It reminds of a hypnosis portrayed in films. Less than a word and yet a little more than a fingers snapping. Just that. I close my eyes. I can see the couples again.

I wish it was possible to escape the manners of what seems socially adequate. I would gladly talk to the couple. Maybe they shouldn’t be together in the first place. Maybe they’ll know that soon enough. Maybe, my experience of love is so small and isgnificant to make me eligible to comment on relationships.

Then again, I live in a world of fleetring relationships. I know a few people who are in meaningful relationships. Relationships that mean something, and provide for the partners. It is hard to forge such relationship. Recently I became a strong believer in being single. The following are points in which I consider why it is good to be single.

Relationships stress people out – It is really hard being in a relationship. Under the cozy and pretty, the relationships are hard labour. They require understading. Therefore being in a relationship and not understanding your partner is impossible. In a relationship partners have to look after each other. Sometimes, a partner can fall in vertigo of disdain, even if they meet all requirments to be happy. This comes from the fact that most often people are poison. In reality it is quite uncommon to have both partners satisfied. To salvage the situation, most people accept compromises. Compromises that will take more from both than they will give to any of them. Most relationships are just way too time consuming.

Being single gives people more single time  – Due to the popular opinion, single people don’t spend all their free time crying and dreaming of being in relationships. On the contrary, it takes a lot of courage to be single. It says a lot about people when you consider their need to be in a relationship. I met people who have been in relationships their whole life. They spent their whole lives with other people. Didn’t they have something to do that required them to be single to do it? I strongly advise people to spend their time alone. It is very needed healing that people never truly consider. For example if people in relationships consider time they spent with others, and put that time in fulfilling their ambitions and dreams…Guess what…They would be much more happier! Because, they would actually accomplish something. Which leads us directly to the next point.

 People in relationships have a harder time finding their true self  – People love being in relationships for a reason. Relationships give people everything they needed and more. Relationships enable people. The relationships are one of the greatest sources of enabling. The partners tend to justify one another, making excusess and not changing for the better. They don’t grow up mentally together. In the end this is the reason they can’t be together. At some ponint, one of them will realise they don’t have an I without the relationship. There is no time for separate deeds and thoughts. There is no me, just us. This, coated as love was the direct downfall of uncountable relationships. Relationships which allowed partners to grow mutually are extremely rare. Mostly, people become broken as the relationship meets a conclusion. Being in a relationship can never be a substitute for knowing who you really are and what you truly need. Only you can know that.

Almost, I finish my joint, but decide to leave just a bit. For later uses. Everybody deserves love. But, what kind of love one deserves is connected to the quality they have a as person. This doesn’t guarantee long and happy relationship, good life and a golden retriever. But, being a quality person gives a right to choose. An awesome right. We deserve it.

Please, leave the comments on this. Do you think people are better in relationships or single?

You can learn more about spirituality if you visit my Smashwords account and purchase my Ebooks. You can also follow me on Facebook or Twitter.


Michael Fringe 


3 thoughts on “Autumn walk

  1. “People in relationships have a harder time finding their true self.” So true. The whole social construct of relationships and marriage seems as if it was purposely designed to stunt self awareness, keep us from the knowledge of our true power. Conspiracy theory? Yep! I would almost guarantee it! Granted, I don’t think relationships shouldn’t exist, I just contemplate what they would look like If we had to develop relationships with ourselves first.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, thank you for your comment.

      I don’t believe that relationships are social constructs. Marriage could be, if we take the fact that it helps society organize itself better. In that regard, marriage is a social construct devoted to idea making society more homogenic. Due to the fact that most marriages are regulated through church, I can agree that marriage is a social construct devoted to the idea of oneness in a state.

      I don’t believe relationships are though.Not as I see them. You can read my new article on spirituality in practice to see what I mean. We should let ourselves explore each other. Learn from each other. Not put each other in bondage.

      However, we should always strive to better ourselves. That gives quality to any relationship.


      Michael Fringe


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